Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Feelings everywhere...

Feelings everywhere...
ihave such a jumbled up mass of every emotion you can have all at once. no wonder i cant eat or sleep or feel or function. i am on sensory overload! not sure what i have reported lately so i will start with sunday. HE came over sunday night unexpectedly after my brisk walk through the snow covered roads of my neighborhood. HE explained that he loves me and that we can make this work - we just have to start over and move slower (not real sure what that means?!?!) HE swears that he has not now or ever had any feelings for the slimy chick he was riding around and that it was all innocent as she wrecked her car and needed rides. not sure what to believe there. in reality, it all comes down to the fact of whether or not i want to go through this pain again. HE is 46 and never been married...slight clue as to where this relationship will end up? i think his whole life has been spent spooked and as soon as we try again he will just get spooked again later and i will have to do this all again! ICK!! ICK!! I am forty years old and ready to find a partner in life - not a hot man to parade around and show off as eye candy - just a sweet/loving/compassionate man that loves me so much that he cannot wait to see me or talk to me...is that soooo much to ask?!?!?!? the great debate continues...all i know is like i told my friend Donna last night - when i am not sure what to do, i should do nothing....i am in a constant holding pattern right now...LOL


Oh and BTW - I will take pics of the newly finished bedroom tonight and post them tomorrow...PROMISE!!

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