Thursday, January 22, 2009

Thanks to Selina's blog for this one...

There comes a point in life when you realize
who matters, who never did,
who won't anymore and who always will!
So don't worry about people from your past-
There's a reason why they didn't make it to your future!

No class last night

Well, I was all settled in at the gym for my two classes last night (BodyPump and Yoga) when they informed us that the sub-instructor was stuck in traffic in Greentree (about 15 minutes from the gym). We all waited for `1/2 hour then decided to go to the cardio machines until she showed up. Well, needles to say, she NEVER showed up - what's up with that?!?!?!? I had to do my whole workout on the Eliptical and Treadmill. That is how I used to work out and I forgot how much fun working out had become with the classes. Anyway, I am now just excited for the CycleSpin and Core Explosion classes tonight...bring them on!!!!
Since I got done early at the gym I was able to get to the St. Anne's 12&12 meeting last night. It was great!!! I had not been there in soooo long and the sympathetic idiot did not show which made it EVEN BETTER!!!!!!! Woo -Hoo!!!! Good meeting!!!!
That's all I have for today - tonight is a BIGGGGGG night...
1. Weigh in for fat club
2. Two classes at the gym
3. Erin is getting her two year chip at St. David's
4. Watch Lost which I taped last night
5. Take pics of the bedroom (really I am going to try to remember) :-)
I will report in tomorrow!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Over the hump day!

Well, my new addiction is Zumba. I look like I'm having a seizure but it is sooooo much fun. On mondays, there is about twenty in the class but on Tuesdays there is only me. Well, let me clarify - there had been only me. Monday I met Lynn and she promised to come last night so I would not have to Zumba alone with the instructor and she actually showed!!!!!! Woo-Hoo!!! Not that I mind a private class but anyone that has done Zumba will tell you it is wayyyyy better when there are others that look like they are siezing right along with you! It was sooooooooo much fun so thanks Lynn for showing up at class!!!! Hopefully she finally found her keys and jacket too - I will find out tonight!
Well, tonight is the big preview night for LOST!!! Again Woo-Hoo - I have been waiting soooo long it better be worth it. I will be going to the gym right from work and then home to settle in and watch!!!
Maybe even finally take those promised pics of the new paint in the bedroom...I will try to remember :-)
I would like to point out that I have not whined about HIM lately but I would not DARE share my thoughts about what I would like to happen to him!!!! Lets just say I am not to the point where I am praying good things for him. LOL :-)
Remember, I am only responsible for my actions NOT my thoughts - THANK GOD!!!!!

Oh, and on a happy note...CONGRATS to my sponsor Donna on 2 weeks and a day without a cigarette!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have a great night all and I will post again tomorrow!!!!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Let it Go!!!!!!!!!!

Let It Go
T.D. Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you, let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go. And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person. It just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead. If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth..... Let them go!!!You've got to know when it's over.

Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift. I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to...... LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains.......LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you….LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge.....LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction......LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents…. LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude.....LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better.....LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him...... LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship...... LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves......LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed .........LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to.....LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for 2009!!! LET IT GO!!!

Get Right or Get Left. Think about it, and then…. LET IT GO!!!"

The Battle is the Lord's!


This is a quote from a fellow blogger that I love.....
"There are times when I grow discouraged and wonder if God is hearing our prayers at all, but I was reminded through a devotional from "Jesus Calling" that He is, and has already answered them in the best way possible for us.

Let me share with you what it said..."When you bring Me prayer requests, lay out your concerns before Me. Speak to Me candidly; pour out your heart. THEN thank Me for the answers that I have set into motion long before you can discern results. When your requests come to mind again, continue to thank Me for the answers that are on the way. If you keep stating your concerns to Me, you will live in a state of tension. When you thank Me for how I am answering your prayers, your mind-set becomes much more positive. Thankful prayers keep your focus on My Presence and My promises."

I won the lottery!!!

Seriously I did!!!
I bought two scratch off tickets ($3 a piece)on Saturday night as I was leaving the grocery store and actually won $650!!!!
How cool is that!?!?!?!??!??!?!?!
I kept thinking - if I was still with "you know who" I probably would have offered him half as he is royally financially strapped. See, I really am a doormat!!
Well, saved myself that regret!!!!!!

Strike two...and're out!!!!!!!!! I lied! I still have not taken any pics of the bedroom yet.
On the same sick/twisted/cathartic note that I have been dwelling on for weeks now - HE came over Thursday and we talked about how to make it work. Then he was supposed to come over Sat night and called to say that he was feeling sick and tooo tired after working that day. Mind you I had spent the past two days driving him to pick up and drop off cars since his would not start and also jumping the stupid cars when they did not want to run. I know, I am a moron right?!??!? All in the name of love...then he cancels Saturday night and I am stuck going to a potluck mtg alone and then home. That is the last straw. Strike two and three combined. NO - we cannot make it work - he is lazy, self-centered, depressed, he has NO interests AT ALL and all he does is work approx 15 hours a week and sleep the rest of his life away. Althoth - in his defense he is definitely clinically depressed and needs medication. Hopefully he will recognize this and get help (we also talked about that).
So, in the meantime - MOVE ON!!!!!!! I need to let this go sooo badly! A friend of mine said to me yesterday...."you just can't let this go hugh?"....and I almost laughed. She is the person who just moved an unemployed, cronic relapser idiot into her house and pay his way in life rather than be alone! That's when I said "okay - time to move on" I will never get like her!!!!
I am good enough, smart enough and dog-gonnit people like me!!!!!!!
Back to the gym!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Feelings everywhere...

Feelings everywhere...
ihave such a jumbled up mass of every emotion you can have all at once. no wonder i cant eat or sleep or feel or function. i am on sensory overload! not sure what i have reported lately so i will start with sunday. HE came over sunday night unexpectedly after my brisk walk through the snow covered roads of my neighborhood. HE explained that he loves me and that we can make this work - we just have to start over and move slower (not real sure what that means?!?!) HE swears that he has not now or ever had any feelings for the slimy chick he was riding around and that it was all innocent as she wrecked her car and needed rides. not sure what to believe there. in reality, it all comes down to the fact of whether or not i want to go through this pain again. HE is 46 and never been married...slight clue as to where this relationship will end up? i think his whole life has been spent spooked and as soon as we try again he will just get spooked again later and i will have to do this all again! ICK!! ICK!! I am forty years old and ready to find a partner in life - not a hot man to parade around and show off as eye candy - just a sweet/loving/compassionate man that loves me so much that he cannot wait to see me or talk to that soooo much to ask?!?!?!? the great debate continues...all i know is like i told my friend Donna last night - when i am not sure what to do, i should do nothing....i am in a constant holding pattern right now...LOL

Oh and BTW - I will take pics of the newly finished bedroom tonight and post them tomorrow...PROMISE!!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Happy Tuesday?!?!? Thoughts for the Day...

"Lord, take me where You want me to go:
Let me meet who You want me to meet:
Tell me what You want me to say, and
Keep me out of Your way"
--Franciscan friar, Mychal F. Judge

Don't worry about tomorrow because God is already taking care of it. Lord, help me set aside needless worry and anxiety so that I have time to do all that I need to do today.

When life seems hard and filled with troubles, look for reasons to be thankful. Lord, Your beautiful presence is always with me.

Well, I am not sure what I want to do - not sure what I want to say - this is one of those times I learned not to do or say anything...if you are not sure, do not act. It is sooo hard to walk away when you truly love someone however, the worst part is will be even harder to walk away the next time right????????

Friday, January 9, 2009


TGIF - My new favorite song - So What!!! You weren't there...You never were...You want it all...But that's not fair...I gave you love...I gave my all...You weren't there...You let me fall!!! Works, hugh?
Anyways I hope all have an excited weekend...I have planning committee, etc. and finishing painting my bedroom! Woo Hoo!!!!
I will defintiely be done this weekend and will post pics!
Thy will, NOT MINE, be done!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

What up people?!?!?!?

What up people?!?!?!? Just checking in with my little space on the internet highway...making sure things are good!!!
I am soooo psyched...last night my old-fashioned ipod shuffle (the long white ones that look like a flashdrive)bite the dust - kinda sad but I got a new Nano and I love it already!!!!!!!!! It's purple and great!!! Loaded it up with Pink and Katy it!
Also, we have this program at work that is called maintain, don't gain. We weighed in before thanksgiving and then today to make sure we did not gain the holiday 5 or 10 lbs and I found out that I lost ten!!!! WOO - HOO!!!! How can the day be bad!?!??!?!
I am still in a debate in my head but I may be attending my first single club mtg tonight...going to the gym and then going to decide if I want to do the 7:30 mtg or go to the singles mtg....not quite sure yet.......I'll give you my decision tomorrow.
Also, I will post pics of my awesome bedroom that I just re-painted and the furniture - I love it - purple walls and white furniture!!!!!
Have a happy/safe/and fat free night!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

OKAY - no more posts with HIS name in them!!!!

This is my solemn promise that I will not post anything else that has HIS name in it at all!!!!!!!! I am surrending my feelings and hopefully will get some happy ones soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am out of work soon and headed to the gym for another intense workout.
Woo - hoo!!! Tomorrow is the meeting for the Singles Club I am going to join,,,I am sooo excited to meet new and hopefully "normal" people!!!
I will keep you POSTED - get it?!?!?!?!?

Today is a great day a fish?!?!?!

Today is a great day a fish?!?!?!
Wow - it is rainy/rainy/rainy!!
I guess that means I should be grateful that it is not colder or it would be snowy/snowy/snowy!!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Woo Hoo!!!!!! Two more pounds down!!

Woo Hoo!!!! I spent the afternoon after work working out...I did treadmill for 1 hour and then Zumba and Bodysculpting classes. Got home and I am down two more pounds.

List of why I am now happy to be single.....
cooking for myself at a normal dinner time
no longer dating an idiot that is SELF CENTERED
no longer dating an idiot that is NEVER there for me (bailed on Baptism/bailed on family vacation/changed week at the beach to week at his sisters house/faked sick for Thanksgiving/started a fight to not have to hang with me at Christmas/NEVER once compromised on ANYTHING-dinner at ten, etc.etc.etc)
no longer dating a lying jerk that pretends to be compassionate and caring and is in reality only interested about himself!!!!!!!!!!
Life is again beautiful!!! Gonna keep working on myself and ALL MEN can GO SUCK AN EGG!!!!

Monday, January 5, 2009

OK GOD - I GOT IT!!!!!!!

WOW!!!!!!!! Tried to go to a noon mtg that Walt is NEVER at and who is there but "sleezy" - then I decided to be a bigger person and stay and just sit on the other side of the room from her and not say anything to her at all and wouldn't you know walked Walliacha!! He even parked next to my car - evident when I got to the parking lot to leave!!! UNFREEKIN' real!!!! So i went through the kitchen and left and took a long walk with myself and the man I am just enjoying listening to his crying messages over and over again!!!!! This is ridiculous!!!! I am trying to switch meetings to not see him and apparently I just need to find mtgs far far away or something!!!!!!
Anyway, I got the message.....I am definitely moving if I could just have a few days without seeing him that would be least unless he quit THAT JOB NOW (which is possible) he should be "working" dropping people off tomorrow.

I pray...

I pray that I may realize that, for good or bad, past days have ended.
I pray that I may face each new day, the coming twenty-four hours,
with hope and courage.

Today the break-up is EVEN EASIER as his car was parked at a slutty little tramps house at 9AM on Sunday morning...does he have a quick forgetter or what?!?!?!? But, see, this is where God comes into play in my life. Had I not been meeting a friend of mine at her house I would have not seen that and I would have had a hard time moving on and now it will be CAKE!!!!!! All you male tramps start lining up!!!!!! Just kidding!

Friday, January 2, 2009

WOW - It's been awhile!!

Thank Goodness the holidays are over! Anyone that knows me knows that I LOVE LOVE LOVE the holidays but this Christmas and New Year has really sucked! I am soooo glad it is over and I could not wait to get into the office today!!!! That is sad, hugh?
But, it is back to normal life where I have a great job that I love and I feel really good about myself and what I have been able to achieve.
The icky thing is that I have to lead tonight and it will be a toughy but I also think it will be good to re-visit where I came from.
Anyway - today's reading is great so I am going to type it below....have an awesome hope-filled day!!!
"Sharing with another woman our fears of starting a new job, ending a relationship, getting into therapy, or even joining a social club will help us keep the fear in perspective. Fears that go undiscussed have a way of growing and overtaking our lives. In time we find that because of our shame about being afraid, we have isolated ourselves from the very people who can help us."

ICU Nurse it is

 Hi everyone!! I am just here checking in quickly. I almost feel bad checking in as it has been an eternity since I posted!!! UGH! Life has ...