Friday, October 15, 2010

I love you Lucky

As I posted yesterday, I put my baby to sleep after 17 years this week.
I had this cat for sooooooooo many great years...
I got her when my ex and I got engaged and moved in together.
She was my child!
She has been my baby ever since!!!
I will love and miss her forever...
She has been with me for 17 years and 4 different homes!! Through un-countable number of relationships and sober and not sober life.
I love her with all my heart and will miss her forever until we meet again.
I think she is now painfree and happy ...
I love you forever Lucky and you will always be loved and missed!!!


Thursday, October 14, 2010

RIP Lucky 10/12/2010

I put my baby (17 year old cat) Lucky to sleep a few days ago - I am on little "life break" right back soon...just need a bunch of bubble baths and time to process....


Monday, October 11, 2010

Friend Makin Monday!

1) Do you prefer talking or texting? Definitely talking!!! It seems I talk fast and alot and I just cannot seem to text all that information quickly enough and I get frustrated when I try to text!!!

2) Do you make your bed everyday? Absolutely-it cuts down on the amount of cat hair I have to sleep in :-) LOL!!!

3) What sounds do you hear right now? silence!!!!!!!!!!! at work non the less!!!!

4) List three things that you always carry with you: cell/blackberry, gum, and tooth flossers

5) What are your favorite TV shows? Survivor, Amazing Race, and Biggest Loser!!!!!

6) Is there a hobby that you'd like to devote more time to? If so, what is it? Rock climbing-outdoors - no gyms for me!!!!!!

7) What is your favorite drink? water and coffee - it's tie!!

8) Share a couple of cool facts about your family: We get together EVERY CHRISTMAS!!!! No matter what - the WHOLE family!!!!!!!!!!! We do an annual cookie baking weekend every Thanksgiving to prepare the Christmas cookies every year - I think last year we made a total of around 200 dozen cookies!

9) List one thing that you will do for yourself today: bubble bath at the end of the day!!!!!!!

10) Share something that you're thankful for today: Family and friends that are amazing in so many ways!!!!!

Now it's your turn to share you answers! Happy Monday Friends!

Friday, October 8, 2010

Where I stand...contently single

So I spoke with Walt last night.
As I said before, he sent flowers to work and left many, many messages about how he wants to make things right and he needs me, etc. etc.
I finally called him back last night to ask that he stop calling and move on.
I explained that it was over and I don't think I can ever feel the same about him again after the months of lying, etc.
After about a half hour I told him I had to go and please stop calling and please move on and I think he has FINALLY gotten the message. I have not heard from him since - including any messages.
Just to clear the air...I did not kick him out!!

I have had a lot of people ask if I feel bad for kicking him out onto the street...
here is what happened.....
I found the bank statement with the Casino ATM withdrawls on Monday-he promised to change and get help...on Thursday we had to go to a dinner party and in the car he was acting high-I asked him if there was something wrong with him or if he was using- he called me a bitch, asshole, etc. and said he was leaving...he said he could not do anything right and he was leaving and that I should find someone that could actually love me to move I said "maybe you are right".
He gave me his key and left that night with a few clothes...I told him if he left he was not coming back and he left.
I spent the rest of the night packing his stuff....he stopped by the next afternoon and took his phone charger and told me to throw everything else in the dumpsters.
I called his brother and took everything to his brothers house and that was that (i am not spiteful enough to throw everything away even if he asked me to)!
So, you see, I did not throw him out - he left of his own free will and in the process managed to call me every horrible name in the book.....
Yes, I am sad sometimes... yes, I morn for what I thought we were working toward together...but no, I did not choose this - I only choose to stay sober and take care of myself from here on out!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for listening!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Still deleting...

Hey Hey!
I guess I am documenting all this for me... I appologize to my readers for the bummer subject and hope this blog gets to be about fun stuff and fun pics again SOON!!!!!

Waliacha sent/brought flowers and a card to work again today.

I sent the card through the shredder without opening it and gave the flowers to my secretary.

I then proceeded to call Waliacha's sponsor and request that he make a plea to him to stop coming and bringing stuff to my work and spen his money on a place to rent to live instead of stupid cards and flowers that are all for naught...we shall see if that works.

I am giving this phone call thing one more day then getting his number blocked from both my personal and work cellular numbers as it does not appear to be letting up and the messages are ripping my heart apart - try as I may it is hard to delete without listening-maybe blocking is the best option.

But, I am still very happy and will not change my decision with the exception of a few tears here and there (lots of broken promises and dreams)...he will NOT be coming back to MY HOME - that I know for sure!!!

Thanks again for all the kind will be interesting to see what God has in store next....

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Quick update

The ex sent roses to work today - what a shame he did not do that when we actually were together......

I gave them to my secretary!!!

She loves them!

Tonight I have dinner planned with friends for my sponsees birthday.

We are going to Wright's Seafood Inn......should be yummy and fun!!!!

Also - got word that my very first work trip to Germany has been cancelled due to traveling constraints and money.....stinks!!!!

Maybe next time :-(

BIG PS - Thanks soooo much everyone for the kind words of support!!! I will not be taking him back - promise and it helps to read your words of support.

It sucks now but it sucks a little less each day..... :-)

Monday, October 4, 2010

Behind the Smile

So what's been goiong on?
Where have I been?
Just A LITTLE absent from blogger world...
Well, I kicked Waliacha out to the curb last week.
The long and short of it is I found out last Monday that he was spending lots of time and money in the Rivers Casino while telling me that he could not help out with bills (ie: Hot Water Tank died) and then on Thursday he was visably high on something so I confronted him.
He said "I can't do anything right, all you do is pick on me, maybe I should move out!!!" and I said OK....
So a huge weight has been lifted - all of his stuff is gone (drove it to his brothers house) - he is calling constantly to come home and I am giving it a few more days and then calling the police for a PFA....what a life, hugh?!?!?!?!?
So I will keep you posted and hopefully the next few months will consist of me soaking in bubble baths after work and NO CHAOS!!!
Ya right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ICU Nurse it is

 Hi everyone!! I am just here checking in quickly. I almost feel bad checking in as it has been an eternity since I posted!!! UGH! Life has ...