Out of Tears and Words

I am so out of tears and words...it feels like it is getting harder not easier! I have not talked to or heard from him since we said good bye on Sunday night.


Eventually I know it will get easier and easier but right now, it is so hard not to pick up the phone or text him. I have to keep reminding myself that I was not getting anything out of the relationship anymore.

Uggghhh...oh well, I gave the ultimatum that I knew I needed to and he made his choice (I knew in my heart what he would choose but that does not make it any easier)!

I KNOW I HAD to walk away to protect and honor myself....not only as a person in recovery but as a women in general...but that does not make it better :-(

I will be spending the weekend with my family and that will also help make it better and get my mind of of things I cannot control.

I am not going to write a long, sad and drawn out post today as I do not want to bring everyone down or put unhappiness out there...so, I will leave you with some things I pinned this morning...

Men Suck AGAIN

I am REALLY bummed to be writing this but the proverbial "writing on the wall" has been there and I am finally cutting my loses and running. One Sunday I broke up with the recent guy...we made about ten months and I am truly sad and heartbroken!

There are a few "deal breakers" for me in relationships (I have had a list for years of what I will not tolerate in a relationship since being in recovery) and let's just say one or two of these came into play.


This really pains me as I am truly in love with this man and he was, I thought, everything I was waiting for in a guy.
I know I will be okay...time heals all wounds, but I am sure I will be sad for a while...
Anyone else unlucky in love?!?!
Ugh...here we go again...
Internet hugs welcome!
Happy Monday all! 

Quinoa.........YUM!

I am in such a weird space! I just want this week to be over!!

I am sooo totally over this entire week I cannot stress it enough!

Any one else feel this way?!?!?

I miss my dude! I think I made a really dumb split-instant decision based on baggage and fears from the past and, in doing so, I lost a really great guy! I was holding onto fears from my past with the last idiot and it caused me to get terrified and run away from a man that truly loves me for me - all my faults, habits and control freeky-ness!

We are meeting up later tonight and hopefully working out a way to move forward and try again.  He is such a sweetie and it truly would be my loss if he walks away.
Time will tell :-( Wish me luck!

On another note, I went out to eat this week to First Watch and got a delicious meal that I think I did pretty good in recreating! It is soo yummy!!!.

I cooked 1/2 cup chopped onion till soft then added 2 cups quinoa, 1 1/2 cups chicken broth, 1/4 cup of dried cherries, 1/8 cup sliced almonds. 

 

Let boil slightly till broth is all absorbed. 

 

Then I added the breast meat from a rotisserie chicken that I shredded and sprinkled some low fat feta on top to serve.

 

It was AWESOME!

 

Not kidding! Try it - you'll like it! And, it is a super food too!!!!!! YUMMO and HEALTHY TO THE MAX!!!

 

Happy weekend to y'all! Wish me luck getting my darlin back too! I need all the prayers I can get - I really did blindside him and hurt him pretty bad!

 

 

:-(

It's such a sad day...

You know when you know you need to do something and just do not want to?

That's where I have been for a few days now. It is all in regards to that man I was dating and recently I started noticing things would happen and I would worry and lose sleep over them and he would not. Not that I want him to lose sleep but I also realize that if you pretend a situation is not there then you never do anything to change it either. I have worked hard to get my life together and be responsible and live a certain way and I just decided that I cannot fall any deeper for someone that does not also feel this way.  Does that sound weird or egotistical?

I feel really sad though! We were only dating a couple months but I cared about him as a friend before that so I think the love feelings came faster and stronger. Oh well, I spoke with him in person about it last night and we are calling it quits.  I was surprised at his reaction as he did not even seem to care either way. He just said "thanks for the memories".  So it appears to be hunky dory with him. Is it wrong that I am upset that he was not upset when I broke it off? I think maybe I am.  Oh well, in any case, I did the right thing according to my gut feeling and that is all I have to go on. In the past, I would have stayed with him for a few more years because I do not like to hurt people and I would have been afraid to tell him I wanted to call it quits. HA....stupid I know.   Progress, right?!?!

Anyway, if you know any cute, sweet and established men......send them my way please!!!

It's official....Wallyacha is gone....

OK! It's official. A week after X-mas cards went out....Walt and I are done.
I will be fine...just feels a little sucky right now.....lesson learned is, listen to your heart...if you have to work wayyyyyyyyyy harder than the other person...it just isn't worth it.......
So, looking for a new fish!!!
Or maybe just swim in my own school alone for a while!!!
This too shall pass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
....I'll keep ya posted............

Boys Stink!!!

Well, it's final - Boys stink! After yet another spat yesterday and "darling" Walt getting his fight on, I finally and officially quit trying. When he fights, its ...shut off the phone and disappear....this is not a healthy or adult way to argue and now for the fifth time I am finally done. He hung up on me yesterday afternoon and I have not heard from him since so when and IF I do....I will not be answering.....oh well, we made it to the 6 month mark....good enough.

So, I guess I am single .... Well, I am done ranting and maybe someday I will bump into a cute Normie at the Grocery store or gym and have some exciting dating stories to tell. trying to LOL :-}