It's finally Spring in Pittsburgh! The sun is shining and I am so happy about it! I hope everyone had a great weekend!!
Time for a little honesty here on the ole blog!!
I am calling myself out!
About six months ago I kind of broke things off with my boyfriend. It was due to many reasons but mostly because he was again smoking pot. I know a lot of people do this and do not see any harm in it however there is a background story. When he smokes pot it is all day, everyday. Also he has these crazy mood swings and he get very nasty and abusive. Not physically but verbally. He does not get nasty with me but with his grown kids and I cannot stand to be around it.
We have known each other since 2005 and I do consider him a friend just no longer a boyfriend.
So, this last time we tried to make "us" work as a couple was after he had a double stroke in July of last year. I went to visit in the hospital and he swore he was done with the weed.
Long story short, by October things were back to what they usually are and he was smoking weed and lying right to my face about it. Also, he was getting really nasty with his kids and aids that came to help him at the house. I just slowly lost those "feelings" for him.
When I started working on my floors in October, all of my extra time was spent at my home working and he finally quit calling since I was not coming over like he wanted. I just kind of let things go and we have not spoken since.
Over the weekend, I ran into a mutual friend that told me that my old boyfriend went to South Carolina with his brother for a vacation and it got me thinking about him and our friendship and how he was doing. So....after 6 months I called him. UGH. Probably a bad idea but I really care about him and want to know how he is doing. (In full disclosure...I am secretly hoping that someday he will get his act together and quit the weed.)
He answered right away and said he was at a family gathering at his sisters house. I told him to call me later but he thanked me for calling and said he could talk.
He said his depression has gotten really bad a couple months ago, so he went into the hospital to get everything adjusted. He said he is doing much better now although he will never drive after the stroke (that makes him a little upset). He said he is no longer smoking weed - he tells me this EVERY time we talk so I do not believe this but we shall see.
We caught up a little on life (his vacation, my vacation and work stuff) and then I said I better get going. He said he would like to go to dinner to catch up sometime and I told him to call me and we would see.
Oh how I would love to see him get his crap together! I honestly thought after the stroke that would be the big change but sadly it was not.
I care about him a lot and love him a lot. He is so supportive of me and thinks I am amazing! He supports me in everything I do and thinks I am the smartest person he knows. He makes me feel like I am unstoppable however the actions with his family and the weed will always be in the way I am afraid!
I will keep you posted but I am definitely not hopeful that anything has changed...we have been through this so many times! We start going to dinner, he lies about no smoking anymore, we start dating again, I get sucked in, and then I find him smoking weed and lying to me.
I HATE ADDICTION! But, I love my friend!
Anyone else ever stay friends with an ex? Anyone else stay in a relationship where you are broken up over and over?
